Nia Ilemor

Rasa yang tak sama. Kadang aku tertanya, apa aku yang berbeza, atau engkau punya perspektif sekata? Kalau ditanya hati, kalau saja hati itu bisa beri jawapan yang terus tanpa selindung dengan perasaan abstrak yang sukar aku tebak, mungkin saja subjek ini akan menjadi lebih mudah. Tapi kau, bicara soal hati. Hati yang aku sendiri gagal fahami. Operasinya, kehendaknya, mahunya dan pertahanannya. Yang aku mampu cuma rasa. Rasa yang aku sendiri gagal kawal. Mungkin. Pada mata manusia amnya, ros merah itu cantik. Dahlah cantik, wangi lagi! Lalu kau petik, tanpa sedar kau luka terkena duri. Pada aku warna cantik, bau wangi, itu semua hanya perangkap untuk menjerat manusia merasa peritnya tusukan duri. Yang takkan pernah. Sembuh. Munkin, kita memang langsung tak sama.

Because I can't verbalize this. This. THIS. This. Feeling. And this is the closest that I can get to.

     It's the last week of semester four where emotional rides is most rigorous. I remembered calling Abah in sem 3 to complain about the load of work we were having at that moment. And he simply said, "If you have a lot of work, then go do your work. It's better to have a lot of work rather than nothing to do at all."      At one time, you may feel suffocated with all the workload and everything. It only takes one phone call and suddenly the next moment you are at ease without any particular reason, despite all the work and tests.      Those such moments, I'd like to think that it's Ma and Abah sending prayers to God, praying that He would ease it all for me. :)

Assalamualaikum.      It's been a long time since I last dropped by here on this little hut of mine so hai everyone! So far, we only have two more weeks before this semester ends God I can't believe it's already four semesters of me doing my degree. This semester went by quickly. Very quickly actually but I am very thankful for He has granted me the strength to still be here, and keep on walking though my pace might be slower. I'm enjoying the moments in my own way so that's okay hihi.      By far, I gotta say that this semester has been the toughest one I had. Yeah I know that I said that like every semester but seriously this time around I swear that it is the toughest one. Academically speaking and also uhm, in other terms. Because this semester has been quite tough, I have learned a lot of things. Like, a lot. But most things are better kept to yourself, just like this semester's lessons. He taught me the lessons of life, in a very beautiful way though o