Nia Ilemor

At some point, you're gonna have to start anyway. Somewhere, sometime. It's time to begin isn't it?

I'm letting it all go. Here Wish list reviewed,  edited, and finalized. It's not giving up, it's being realistic. Maybe I'm putting another label to it,  maybe it has just occurred to me how absurd they all were. maybe I'm just running away. Regardless of what it actually is, I'm still letting it go. Hopefully, this will end up somewhere good/better. Biiznillah.

      Unexpected incidents caught our emotions off guard. My question is, even if we do prepare ourselves for such loss, could we be sure that we will be okay? Would we handle things differently or will the overwhelming emotions still be catching on us?  Left. Right. Thank you Eera Zaher, for lending this to me :)      As I put the book down, I had this bottled up feelings inside of me, which content are from the emotions that all the characters have been going through. Like I was a part of them too. Oskar Schell, aged 9 has lost his father to the 9/11 incident. They had a very close relationship so it was very hard for him to deal with the loss. Different people dealt with their loss differently but they always got to the same place as they walk, a wall. There will always be this big, solid invisible wall built from all of your emotions that separated you from the real world. They could come in a square, a circle, a rectangle...

"Abah kata jangan dipersoal ketentuan Tuhan.  Hikmahnya ada, mungkin makan masa untuk terima tapi jangan dihabiskan masa melontar persoalan." Here  :)      In an unfortunate event happened to my sister, my Abah told her this to put her at ease and as she retold the story to me, it came to me that one of my 2012 mistakes was that I spent so much time questioning that I waste the time that I could use to improve. I ask about a lot of things. The hows and the whys especially. Some are answered, most are disappointingly go unanswered and it does upsets me personally. The thing about abstract questions is that it requires abstract answers which sometimes could only come from experience and time. Without we realizing it, not only it consumes our time but it consumes our spiritual energy, hence, the emotional rides. On the bright side, it could be one of the means to uplift your spirit. It makes you think and reflect yourself.  Exploit all of the e...

     My Abah is quite an adventurous person. He'd usually spent his weekends hunting with my uncles or some of his friends. Today, Abah got home from work at about 4 something. By 5, he packed up some culinary appliances and told us that he's going to paddy field for a while. He'll be back by night. "Outdoor!" he exclaimed with a smile after a hard day at work. And here I am, waking up, watching tv, filling up my tummy whenever I'm bored, scrolling the timelines and blog walking. I'm beginning to doubt my age and questioning my purposes in life.

     When I went to BBW the other day, I bought a book entitled Mastering Filters for Photography which provides guidelines in using the filters, one my attempts in learning the technical aspects of it, just for a light reading. I thought that it may be useful for my brother and maybe when I want to learn photography seriously, it could come in handy. As I got home, my older brother took out the book and jokingly told my younger sisters, "Ni hah, Ain beli ko adik ambik ah." (something that I am not planning) My younger sisters, both are enthusiastic on the idea of photography screamed hysterically reaching out for the book before even knowing that the book is just actually about filters, not the angle techniques and all. One is 16 and another one, Adik is 13 and just started secondary school. She enrolled herself in the School's Photography Club. My older brother's provocation sent them rambling on how they are going to learn photography using my brother's camera...

I never believed that I would actually get tired of doing something that I have passion in, til the day really come. And it was scary.