"Up here in the cold thin air I can finally breathe"
Last four days I lepaked with two of my friends at KFC, trying to get our take home drama test done. (btw lepak is a legit English word so I discovered) So when people head over to whatever field there was or whatever fancy place people celebrate new year to watch fireworks or do the countdown, there we were, at the second floor of Sect 18 KFC, eyes on screen, fingers dancing on keyboard, typing whatever relevant words that could fit the description of producing a final drama staging, completing our assignments. And I still think that's better than celebrating new year in a crowded place.
So here we are, 2014. As we lamented on the fact that we're already turning 22, we were also, at the same time, excited. Hey, we're 22 already! Wow look at the weight of responsibility and required maturity that the number holds. And as we got lethargic with our assignments, we scrolled down the old photos of us in Semester 1, asasi and also when we were kids. Ah, how time flies. How we have changed. How I used to be slimmer ahem *cry in a corner. To think that we only have three more semesters to go in our Degree life, the idea itself arouses a nostalgic feeling that is yet to come, but we also hate the idea that graduation means that we would probably no longer see each other as frequent as we do. Heck, we would probably never see each other anymore. Everyone will go their own way, trying to live their lives, making the best out of what they have because that' just how life is and that's okay because we know well that they would still stay in our heart.
I guess when I looked back and asked myself, what was the biggest lesson that 2013 have taught me, it could be summarized in this quote,
"And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear."
I took a detour in my fifth semester, something I thought I never have enough courage to do. It was not easy. I walk away from my comfort zone, risking myself to endless possibilities, good and bad. But mostly at that point I could only think of the worst haha. By the end of the day, I actually glad that I did what I did. Yes, fear was always there. All the time and there were rides of emotions but that is only concerning debate and academic, no longer I have to deal with unnecessary shenanigans. Semester five has been challenging, but I am lucky to have my social support Alhamdulillah.
When I looked back in my life last year, I also learned that sometimes holding on too tight might not be a good thing. Sometimes, it it better to just let it go. Things that you cannot control, things that send blades slicing your heart despite the effort you put to fix things up. Well when things still don't work out albeit with everything that you have done, probably it's a way of God telling you to walk away. Blood-curdling howls may echo from the fear but things do get better. So if you are in a condition where it chokes you up that it is so hard to breathe, or you are constantly harassed by emotions you can't control, let it go. Let it fall, let it break and just let the pieces shatter on the floor. I'm not disregarding the power of patience here just that, if you can use the energy more to make a change, why bother use it to things that you can't change?
Wouhou my very first post for 2014! I just wanna pray for one thing for 2014, DISCIPLINE :)
Have a good year ahead peeps! :)