So reality has dawned on me.
That, I did not graduate with 3.75 above.
That, securing scholarships is really really really difficult.
That, alternative financial assistance is also, meh.
That, any chance of pursuing masters abroad might be impossible to nil.
That, by the end of the day, maybe my life is never destined for greatness. It will just pass as a normal life, in which I have already accumulated foreboding disappointments.
No, don't get me wrong. Just because I am disappointed it doesn't mean that I am sad. My disappointments, I believe, do not in any way prevent me from having a good life. It's just a phase. I am just reconciling with the facts of life, the reality of it, and the fact that there's nothing much I can do about it. And above all, in the process of accepting that, I tell myself it is absolutely fine if you can't get everything that you want. that, despite the glitch I am still very much blessed for everything that I have now.
And, I move on.
This simply means that, I have taken in the view of reality, anticipate the possible outcomes, bask in the disappointments, and move on.
Of course, I will still put an effort to pursue my goals. But, I would not put all my hopes in a basket only to lose it in an endeavour.
Sometimes, to be positive is not all about chanting the "I can do it!" "I will never give this up!" "Someday, the stars will align themselves for me!" and continuously convincing yourself to not be disappointed and sad. It is about analysing your situation. Accept what you can't possibly do, utilize what you can do, calibrate things in accordance to your capabilities and what you can afford and give all you've got in the new venture.