Nov 20, 2012

Love is Cinta


In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.

     We started the Love Gathering session today with a video. To put things in a nutshell, the short video is about a guy who bumped into an old friend of his and discovered about his newly wed wife's dark past. Unable to accept the truth, he was devastated, disappointed, angry even for he expected his wife to be perfect although he already knew before that in her younger days, she was not practicing the deen completely. He avoided his wife for about a week, not picking up her calls and not replying her messages. Then a friend of his advised him to just talk to his wife about it and he did. He told his wife that he just wanted to wake up next to his perfect wife that he has married, not going out and being told by other guys things about his wife. He told her that it's disturbing just to think that his wife was with another men. The irony is that, in his younger days, the guy was also not practicing his deen completely, but he defended himself saying that unlike girls, things are different for guys. Then his wife gave him a real an eye-opening question asking that, "Why is it different? Is it different in the side of Allah?" Bam. Headshot.

     Our speaker for today was Nor Adibah Rozain. She started off by concluding a few things from the video by first mentioning on what Allah has said in surah an-Nur, ayatul 26, 

"Women impure are for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable." 

     The story of Saidina Ali r.a and Saidatina Fatimah r.a is a perfect example. Saidina Ali r.a was secretly in love with Saidatina Fatimah r.a but since he felt that he was not competent enough to be with the daughter of the Prophet a.s. compared to the Prophet's close companions who first proposed to Saidatina Fatimah,  (who were Saidina Abu Bakar r.a and Saidina Umar r.a). But as Allah had it planned, Ali was the one chosen by The Prophet to become his son-in-law and it turned out to be that Fatimah was also loving Ali secretly before. Okay, I know I'm not a good story teller but from the story, we could see that, for the people who had given their hearts to Allah, HE would surely put your hearts to the place where it belongs to. Why wouldn't we be confident in what HE has promised? :)

     When we talk about love, it's a thing that comes naturally without we being able to suppress it or shush it away in a gust of wind. We were asked a question about crushes. Why do we have crushes? What makes us interested to all those crushes that we have? Their looks? Their beautiful voice reciting the Quran? Their leadership skills? Often we are atrracted to our crushes because we only see their physical appearance right? How many of crushes have we had, and how long usually the crushes last? Not long? Longer than we thought it would? Do we think that all those crushes that came staying in our heart do not leave any marks? Of course it will if we fail to keep our guards up.  She then quoted Surah an-Nur, ayatul 31.

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed."

     She then talked about shahwat. The nafs. Shahwat here does not necessarily means to imagine the relationship in a sexual way (pardon me, I have to make it clear) but when you see your crushes, and you imagine yourself being with him/her, getting married in a matching dress (oh sweet and segaks nyaa we would think), living a happy marital life and all, now that, is also shahwat. As we see our crushes, and we are awed by their handsome face, and kept on praising his look and how perfect he is, now that, is also shahwat. The danger of it is how we never realize the threat that it poses to our heart. As how she said it, we are in the process of learning right now. Knowledge, is a light which, to the hearts darkened by sins, it would be impossible for the light to come in. The feeling of love, is not to be blamed here, but the way we handle and express it, that is the crux of the problem. 

     So how do we deal with this? How do we clean our heart? She then shared a few tips. First thing first, lower your gaze. I find myself nodding slowly to this. It is quite hard to keep your look away from handsome guys. Come on, admit it :P Not only to the crushes but also those Korean singers or even other celebrities right? But then, it is actually very important and it was even mentioned in the Quran. It maybe hard, but we could try. Also, she advised to not stalk our crushes' Facebook for every time we set our sight on their photos, that'll only add on to the fire of love (eceh). Do not, EVER, stalk, his Facebook. Istigfar, ask for forgiveness every time he came into our mind. Perform solat sunat taubat and also be mujahadah (consistent) in our effort. Those are the tips shared. And also, I think fasting is also one of the ways recommended by experts. She then added, and if we tried all those but still we are unable to control the feelings, pray that Allah would ease it all for you to get married and be in love in a halal way.

"Kalau cinta pasti ingin membawa ke syurga."

     Why worried that we will not find the love of our life? What should we be concerned about now is actually in improving ourselves. Someone has once said, if you would want to know how your spouse is going to be like, look at yourself. So we wanted a husband who always pray on time, a family man, respect his parents and kind, reflecting back to ourselves, do we already have those qualities that we expected our future husband to have? Hm, fair enough. Marriage, is a serious business. From our marriage, we wish to have soleh and solehah children but the first thing to ask is actually, are we prepared? Are we good enough to hope for a soleh spouse? The process of educating our children, does not start from the moment we are married. It does not start from the moment our children are born, but it actually starts now, before we even get married as how we are preparing ourselves for parenting roles. As we educate our children, we hope that they can also benefit the society. So let us ask ourselves first, are we one of those people? Are we fit enough to be that kind of parents? Something to reflect on.

     Also, when we find the love of our life, do not expect perfection. Accept him the way he is. Accept his weaknesses and appreciate his perfection. We are not in any position to judge anyone, for we are also human, flawed and never was perfect. Adibah also mentioned that, if we are already perfect, then there would be no room for improvement. True true true.

     I guess that is all that I can remember from the talk. May it benefits more than it harms. Have a happy weekend guys. May Allah bless us :)

Date of talk: 16th November 2012.
Venue: Angsana
Speaker: Nor Adibah Rozain
Event: Love Gathering CBAF (Charity Begins at Faculty)

Nov 9, 2012


Irony is that, when you are surrounded by hundreds of people but you can't even find one who seems to understand what you are going through. Irony, again, you thought nobody understands you but the truth is, even you can't understand anyone. Why would we always expecting things we can't even offer to anyone? I don't think I like the irony of it.

Aug 27, 2012

Inner Strength Under Construction

     Sometimes life knocks you down in a way you could never imagine. It took away all the things you feel safe confiding into, leaving you defenseless and vulnerable. It can break your soul by using the people you love the most, the things you care the most and the memories you cherish the most. But have we ever really thought why any of this happen?

     A friend of mine once said, whatever hardship we're dealing with at this time will be useful for us one day. Do believe that, Allah is preparing us for something that we may have to deal with in the future that we'd be needing the 'training' of emotions and strength starting from now.

     The question lies in the humans themselves. Are they to take this challenge as a mean to improve themselves or are they just gonna stand there and let the world take them away?

     We have the power to make a choice. Exploit our power, energy and strength to build a better construction of 'us'. Don't waste them on crying over history that can't be fixed, instead use it to build a better future.

May Allah ease, insyaAllah :)

Aug 5, 2012

An Update (?)


     Suffice to say that my sem break is so far so good. Alhamdulillah, today we are finally done with our FE (Field Experience) aka Forever Extraterrestrial har har har okay fine tak kelakar. Now it is time for the COWs and Report which, I uh will, ahem, get done with asap. Ahem lagi. Seems that my friends are having fun with FE. Happy for you guiseeeee! Really. At first, I'm quite, envious. I mean, why does everyone seems like they're having loads of fun in their FE while we're here were just like T____T  Well, on a brighter note, I managed to finish reading two books during FE! Yeay me! Will have to write a review of one of the books. I personally think that book is sooo touching tsk tsk. I totally would put it on my books-to-recommend list.

     Regarding FE, well, like a friend of mine said, won't say that I was having fun but also, didn't say it is not useful. But you know, I remember sitting in in the class with them, observing (kengkonon, more like, pretending to be paying attention when my eyes fought the urge to shut). Anyway, it was a three-period class. Yes, you're reading it right people, it's a three-period class. I'm not gonna touch on my observation thingy, just that, sitting there, looking at those kids, I could see the 13 year-old me. Seven years has passed. Man, how time flies. I still remember where my seat was when I was in form 1. The last row from the door. The second row then, my seat was beside the window. Often I caught myself unconsciously staring at the field. Across the field was a yellow house which belongs to my primary school headmaster. Yeah, I still remember. And sometimes, as our brain cells seem to be unable to contain all of those superior extraterrestrial knowledge, even students passing by at the corridor were interesting enough to divert our attention from the lesson. Har har har.

     I wouldn't say that high school was the best season of my life but it taught me a lot. I really did learned a lot in school. I was once, a high school student, now a university student preparing to teach high school student. Again, the question of what the future holds, we'll never know but that's pretty much what the general idea is, being a high school teacher. Comparing these two different roles, I... I... Well, I'd have to save this for the report. Hahaha. To be honest, I have no idea. But hey, I kinda do miss high school. Not high school entirely. Actually, I miss some parts of it.

Status: Well, done with FE. Enjoying Ramadhan, looking forward for Raya and trying to accept the fact that we would hafta go back to Shah Alam in about two weeks after Raya.

Have an awesome Ramadhan guys!

Jul 21, 2012

Ramadhan and FE


     First thing first, Alhamdulillah for another chance of meeting Ramadhan this year. Salam Ramadhan al-kareem everyone! :) Lets make the best of it insyaAllah. Looking at the last date of my previous post, boy I have really abandoned this blog entirely don't I?. Haha. Anyway, home I am. It's semester break people! Man, how time flies! It feels like it was only yesterday when I first started my Asasi and now, we're already on our way to second year of Degree. Anyway, it's good to be home! :)

     Apparently, holiday isn't exactly holiday this time. We have to do FE (Field Experience). It's some sorta training for us teachers-to-be. Not that we're going to teach, just observing how things at school really are. Again, the question. Do I really wanna be a teacher? I couldn't quite figure that one out yet honestly. The thing is, most people, majority I might say, think that teaching is one of the easiest things to do but the truth is, no it's not. We deal with people that comes with different sets of personalities with the extra package of unpredictable emotions. Imagine teaching a class with 30 students. That's already a lot to deal with and when we become teachers, it's not only a class we have to teach. Not only you have to cater to those different learning capabilities and competencies but you also have to take their different learning styles into account and come up with teaching methodologies that could fit everyone into the lessons. Then, we still have the parents to deal with. The expectations, the complaints and everything. Even with the syllabus we would be having a hard time thinking that whether should we focus on the personal educational development of the students or prepare them to fit into the general educational system. Mind you I still haven't touched on the organization of the school, the demands from the KPM, the students manner and behaviour etc. 

     Not that I'm complaining just that, I hope people do realize that to be a teacher is actually not as easy as they thought it is. Of course, every profession has its own challenges and these are ours. But you know, I personally think that if you could pull this whole business of being an awesome teacher off, the rewards would be satisfying. It's not about the money, the tittle guru cemerlang or whatsoever but it's about knowing that you actually have the power to inspire. It's a lifelong satisfaction knowing that you actually play a big role in one's life and be an agent of change. Still, it depends on what type of teacher you are. An awesome one, or merely, a no one? You make the call. Somehow, I'm kinda glad that we have this FE. It would be a great help to be able to see how the system works, not as a part of the organization but as an observer. Well, hopefully everything's gonna be okay. InsyaAllah.

Till then, have an awesome journey of Ramadhan! :)