Mar 22, 2017

How Do You Explain Pain?

How do you explain pain

As you woke up trembling

Trying to remember last night's dream

That has already escaped your consciousness

Leaving you with the heartache you couldn't quite explain

Just like when you hear his name passes in the wind

Mar 20, 2017

Why Am I Still Here?

Does anyone still blog even?

     2017 is here and it's already March. I am typing this from the comfort of having too much time to waste from being jobless :'D

     Anyhow, I finally ventured into school. Still waiting for the posting. Constantly feeling dreadful on the prospect of where would I be posted. Anticipating nothing short of an exciting adventure in teaching (May Allah ease). Some can say that I am pulled in by the vortex of social pressure and succumbed to the fear of uncertainty as I finally applied for the job I vowed to never go into (that was last year). You are probably right but I will never admit it haha. I have so many thoughts I wanna pen down, but this year is the year of controlling my thoughts, and I guess, I would prefer to start on focusing only on positive thoughts. Let the negativity be only whispers picked up by the wind, when the human's senses are lulled  into deep slumber. This is gonna be though, because I, for one thing, like to have deep conversations with the ones close to me. But I realize that over time, though lucky I am with their generous compassion listening to my problems, all of me talking about all the things I find unfair in life only concentrates on the bad part. 

     And oh, a good friend of ours is finally married! I swear to God I have never seen him that happy. It makes us so happy to see him smiling with joy. It's such a nice feeling to see that your friend is moving to another phase of life, though you do feel a bit melancholic at the same time. Among four of us, he's the one to tie the knot can you believe that? I am still trying to digest that hahaha. I am sooo looking forward to the days where my friends have kids and I imagine myself visiting them. Maybe alone, maybe with my plus one (not getting my hopes up on that one). Maybe I just got back from a trip, and I'll be telling their kids all the amazing adventures that I have had, while presenting them exotic souvenirs from places they never heard. Heheh. Or maybe, I'll come for a visit with my own kids and they can be friends. I'll introduce them to books that I wish I've read when I was a kid. Ok, maybe I am going too much into the future here so let's just stop here.

     So yeah, this year's blogging ain't gonna be anything serious. Just random thoughts, probably some teaching experience. I am not even expecting anyone to read this but it just feels so good to write again. Probably in the future I'm gonna be writing more on melancholic stuffs, I am still trying to mould a positive me. First step, I actually changed my melancholic playlist. Still working on it but we're moving somewhere :')

Till then, toodles.