Nia Ilemor

It's sad. Because in the end, you're gonna have to force yourself into believing that some things are just, irreversible. No matter how hard you tried. What's done is done. And it cannot be undone. Things will change, it'll never be the same. People might not understand, they are all subjected to what only they could see. And that's okay. It really is. Because it'll help you for a better tomorrow. So cheer up love. Because come rain or storm, we will always have each other. As long as stars are above you, and me. :)

This is one of those many points in life where though the whole world keeps on pushing you forward, you just can't move. Because, you just. Can't.

Assalamualaikum! :) So, 3 more days to Ramadhan eay? Alhamdulillah :)      That reminds me, we have another four days to go before our final paper. And after that will be heading straight back to Terengganu biiznillah. God, the mere thought of it send me an inexplicable joy! Cannot wait to go hooome!      On another chapter of life, this is one of those times I am at the crossroads of life. I am actually having a hard time deciding on something I have once loved but not quite sure of whether a comeback would be a good idea now. Seeing the juniors getting so excited and all hyped up about it makes me envious. Envy of that very spirit that used to reside inside of me long time ago that I don't even know that it is still there or not. My loves have been supporting me, convincing me that nothing goes to waste just by trying. That I should give this a go. But then again, I am still at the crossroad. I know that taking a step back would be a disgrace, but a...

Assalamualaikum :) I'll tell you what you already know For You, Angus and Julia Stone.      Alhamdulillah we are finally done with Semester 4! My God going to the third year already how time flies!      So a review for the fourth semester? I have jumbled up thoughts at the moment but let's see how it goes.      Weird. I would say that semester 4 has been weird. It's a freaking weird semester that I just can't wait for it to end. It's a semester where you get to see that the colour pink is actually red. And that mustard colour, is just a plain yellow. And that, you never actually liked the colour turquoise. It also the semester where I get to see other colours to be painted in the canvas of life. It's a semester where I abandoned Jacob Black and went alone to become a werewolf on my own, except that yeah I don't have that wolf pack stuff of Seth, Lia and all. It's a semester where I actually thought that, hey maybe it's not really ...

Rasa yang tak sama. Kadang aku tertanya, apa aku yang berbeza, atau engkau punya perspektif sekata? Kalau ditanya hati, kalau saja hati itu bisa beri jawapan yang terus tanpa selindung dengan perasaan abstrak yang sukar aku tebak, mungkin saja subjek ini akan menjadi lebih mudah. Tapi kau, bicara soal hati. Hati yang aku sendiri gagal fahami. Operasinya, kehendaknya, mahunya dan pertahanannya. Yang aku mampu cuma rasa. Rasa yang aku sendiri gagal kawal. Mungkin. Pada mata manusia amnya, ros merah itu cantik. Dahlah cantik, wangi lagi! Lalu kau petik, tanpa sedar kau luka terkena duri. Pada aku warna cantik, bau wangi, itu semua hanya perangkap untuk menjerat manusia merasa peritnya tusukan duri. Yang takkan pernah. Sembuh. Munkin, kita memang langsung tak sama.

Because I can't verbalize this. This. THIS. This. Feeling. And this is the closest that I can get to.

     It's the last week of semester four where emotional rides is most rigorous. I remembered calling Abah in sem 3 to complain about the load of work we were having at that moment. And he simply said, "If you have a lot of work, then go do your work. It's better to have a lot of work rather than nothing to do at all."      At one time, you may feel suffocated with all the workload and everything. It only takes one phone call and suddenly the next moment you are at ease without any particular reason, despite all the work and tests.      Those such moments, I'd like to think that it's Ma and Abah sending prayers to God, praying that He would ease it all for me. :)