#1

          We often want to find an avenue to express ourselves. Dancing, doodling, singing, composing, running, and yes, even writing. Some of us even extends our feelings to the things we post on our social media. Photos with certain hues, colours that represent certain emotions, captions that are supposed to be a secret reminder to ourselves or even composed in length. I think I used to do that a lot. When I am writing for a caption, I honestly don't intend to make it long. Sometimes it started off as wanting to write something really short and just, laid-back but my emotions often seem to want to pour themselves out the moment the find my fingers providing them the avenue. Oddly, it does not come as easy when it comes to wanting to write a post on blogs. I tend to be super melancholic in my posts and sometimes, I honestly worry that people think I am in a constant state of sadness (haha) by reading my captions. You wanted to be perceived as someone who exudes happiness, and joy and just that upbeat persona but that's the thing right, you can be so in a melancholic sort of way.

          As how the old adage of "you are what you eat" I believe that "you are what you read" also go just as far. I guess four years of immersing yourself in all sorts of literature lessons, diving into the soul of many fictional characters, reading Shakespeare, Poe, Henley and even Khalil Gibran have that certain effect. If anything I think it just accentuates my melancholic nature even more. The problem with this is I often find myself having trouble controlling certain emotions (lol) so this year I have been trying to read more non-fictions to sort of reshape my brain? Is there such a term? If I have a bad day at school or something just irritates me, instead of letting my brain overthink I would grab an econs and just read. I mean, I still don't understand jack but it helps to keep my mind off the things that bother me because of the amount of concentration I have to put into trying to make sense of what the book is talking about (haha). But hello, hello, half a year in and I still haven't managed to finish even one non-fiction. To be honest, they are a good form of distraction but I just find it a lot harder to read them when my brain is at ease.

          For my May reads, I just recently finished reading Sheikh Muszaphar's autobiography where he talks about his journey in becoming Malaysia's first astronaut. It appears to be all successful people do share common traits. They are ridiculously ambitious, driven and passionate. It was a fun read. It also makes you question your life, like, yo, what have I been doing with my life? Haha.

          Anyway, it's our last ten days! What would you be praying for? It's an interesting subject isn't it. Prayers? A friend of mine is about to go for umrah and she asked me if I wanna kirim a duaa. I mean, generally, we have our general duaa about general things. Health, happiness, etc, of us, and our loved ones. But when someone offered to pray for you in during her umraah, you are forced tot hink of things you wanted the most, and it puts you on a reflection. What is the thing, give the possibility, the opportunity, that I sincerely want to be granted?

What would yours be?