It's Alright, My Child of Universe

          Everyone will go through this, at some point of their lives. There will come a point in your life when you want to give up. Seriously, it feels a lot easier to just crawl into a cave, and I don’t know sometimes you just kinda, want to, maybe spend your days staring at the ceiling, contemplating your miserable life. Then you thought to yourself, “Wait, my life isn’t exactly miserable. I have a loving family and friends, I have a comfy bed, a stable career, I have Lightwood and Macbeth, books to read, places to go, food to eat, good health, friend with lame puns jokes to laugh at, silly jokes from your students that can amuse you to no end, aaaand many many more blessings!” Then you would go quiet for a few seconds, and start feeling miserable again. For no reason. Then you remembered, right, time to blame the hormones. Must be that time of the month again.

          I remember having a conversation with A, where we both kinda agreed that happiness are overrated (well actually we were both so bitter at that point of life but our opinion remains the same even after that). And not long after that, I came across a Tedx video about the exact same topic and I was like, uhm, YES THANK YOU for articulating this MAAM. She explained it in a more coherent way la than I can. I’ll attach the link below so you can check it out as well ok?

          Here’s the thing about happiness, it’s cool. But sadness is cool too. And I think, both, can always exist at the same time without cancelling one another. One does not have to be dominant all the time. Just like how Khalil Gibran narrated in The Prophet;

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”

          and as how it is also mentioned in the Quran, “Verily, with hardship, there is relief.” (94:5)  It doesn’t say that ba’da, AFTER hardship, comes ease, but it says, ma’a, WITH, which means that in sadness, there is still happiness. And vice versa. Life may be a continuous struggle, an awful roller coaster that only gains speed as time passes, it may throw you a little off balance at times, and sometimes you just feel like you can’t do this anymore but, there is always, always, the good side of life that you can be grateful for. The little things. By the end of the day, you can still remind yourself to say Alhamdulillah for these little blessings. I used to feel guilty if I get sad for an extended period of time only because of one thing that I cannot get because obviously God has been so gracious to me with a lot more other blessings. I used to associate being grateful with only happiness. So when I get sad, for me at that time, it denotes that I am not grateful enough for other blessings. But once I understood the reality of what Khalil Gibran wrote, and the ayat itself, I tell myself that it’s okay. You can be sad, but still be grateful at the same time.  It’s totally fine. Sadness doesn’t cancel out your gratefulness.

          Here’s another amazing thing about sadness, our ability to appreciate little blessings only magnifies after we have been through tough times. We don’t need grand gestures to cheer us up, for we have learned to find consolation in the beauty of little things. The funny way a penguin moves, the glorious way a bird flaps its wings as it takes off to the sky, how good is the smell of fresh flowers, you know those things. We also come to appreciate people’s kind gestures more, after we have dealt with a lot of unkind people. It’s like how, when you are having a bad day, even the simplest of things, like a smile from a stranger could somehow, helps. Apatah lagi kalau the stranger tu good looking (hehe) (kidding) (not really).

          Lately, I have also realized that, maybe instead of aiming to be happy all the time, it is better to work on trying to be content instead. Contentment is such a cool state. Like, everything does not have to be over the top, things can get awful but as long as you are feeling content with everything in your life, life’s still good. As long as you feel content, you won’t be attacked with the feeling of jealousy, and you would not compare yourself with other people in terms of money ke, pangkat ke, rezeki rezeki lain ke because you are content with what you have, and you have enough. Just like how Abah once told us to always pray untuk dicukupkan rezeki sebab yang banyak tak semestinya cukup. Heeee.

          Anyway, comfort yourself that it’s okay to feel miserable sometimes. Allow yourself some time to mourn over things that have made you feel upset, then don’t forget to pick yourself up again. Having to be happy all the time is kinda tiring anyway. Hehe. When life gets a lil bit too overwhelming, take a break. Get off the social media for a few days, talk to someone, make duaa, go on a short vacation, eat good food or just do anything that can make you feel better. Pamper yourself. If you are currently going through hard times, I pray that Allah would ease it all for you. Let’s not give up ok?