"Searching to find myself, but all I find is you."
It's 22nd February. So I guess in another nine days I'll be starting the new semester.
Truth to be told, I don't feel like going back to Shah Alam at all. Not even a bit of enthusiasm. Like seriously, compared to getting into the previous three semesters. Looking at my last semester's exam result, I got like a lot to cover and to catch up but why oh why, semangat yang hilaaaang, kita cari pulaaaaang. Yeah ain't got no nothing to fuel up the motivation. But I guess it will slowly come to me as I get into the atmosphere, hopefully.
When I went to school the other day with Ayu to visit Sir Zaharani and other teachers, we met Cikgu Mat Noor, the counselling teacher. So he asked me, how was my result? A question to which I reply with only a smile, hehe. Segan ah.Then he told me that the other day, a former student of our school also came to visit, her result was somewhere 2 something. So my teacher asked her, what exactly you were doing while studying? You only need to study so supposedly you could do better. You don't have to work yet, you have nothing else to think about except studying, so basically you have nothing holding you back to concentrate in your study. he then turned to us and asked, "Ko guano?" So yes, that also applies to me.
"Jika kamu tak tahan pada lelahnya belajar, maka kamu akan menanggung peritnya kebodohan."
Come to think of it, I could have done better. We all could have done better. Cikgu was right after all. I don't know about other people but me, I basically have nothing major to worry about. Remember that part of the form where they ask what is your profession and if you don't have one yet you just write 'student'? If I am to admit studying as my profession, it would be more decent for me to actually take my 'profession' seriously." Last semester was, horrible. I, was horrible. Facepalming all the way remembering my lackadaisical attitude towards my studying. Well yeah, the alter ego would definitely defend it by using all the so called boundaries but hey let's get the record straight here, those were nothing but excuses.
"If you can find a reason, you can let me know, I won't blame you, I'll just turn and go."
Yeah alter ego, walk away. Haha. So, hello semester four. I have no idea what do you have to offer but whatever it is, I'll try to take things differently this time (in a more positive way lah kan). And this semester, I have a new little mission to accomplish. Just, one resolution out of many that I would really really want to accomplish.
May Allah ease.
Every Night, Imagine Dragons.