Jun 16, 2011

Growing Up


     Oh-kkayyy. Em, where do I start eh? Ah, first, I just had one of the most amazing trip ever on 13, 14 and 15 of June 2011. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Thank you for those involved, it was awesome, really. For the first time, abah gave me his consent for me to drive on my own to KT *finally. Maybe for some people, it is just an an hour and a half trip and you would go saying like, "Alahhh, trip dekat je kot, tu pun nak feel happy". Yeah, it is but actually, his consent means more. It means trust and concern and for a girl who is growing up to be an adult, it is necessary. I could see that he was actually very concerned but then, sooner or later, this will come and he will have to come up with a final say. I could actually feel that, it must have been hard for parents to see their children growing up and they are worry to actually let them be independent on their own. 

I miss my old problems. My childhood problems.

     Talk about growing up, my birthday is coming up. Birthdays used to be big deals for me but now, I'm not sure. The idea doesn't give me the thrill anymore but uhm, if there're celebrations, I wouldn't mind to join. Hahaha :D  Another birthday means that another year of your life have gone by. To think that what did I actually have done with my life, it is so sad to admit that I might have wasted more than using it wisely. A year older, means that a year shorter from life. And yet, we never know how long we would live. A year older, it also means that an age with more on your shoulder. Responsibilities piling up and more. And with time going so fast, I actually am surprised that it has been three months after I 'grad' my foundation programme and that means that I have roughly, uhm, 2 more months home. And all of a sudden I wish I have mooooore time. Greedy, I know.

     The other day, my friends and I talked about the Degree years. Going for Degree means that, going to a whole new world that gives a true definition to the word 'independence'. And we talked about future, pursuing for the next level of our studies, maybe getting a master, phd, finding the right one along the way, having a family and everything. And next year, we would be 20. That two digit in the front already sounds adult to me. I would have to start planning my life, finances and everything. I'm gonna miss being a teenager. But hey, we may have that two in the front, but we're still young at heart, haha.

     So we're growing up. Guess it is the time for a change. You know, how people can easily change from good to bad. And it is actually so hard to change again and not to relapse even a bit. I can actually feel that time really did turn me into someone else. There's the good part and there's also the bad one. To balance those two, that needs effort+time+determination which I always seem to lack one of it at times. A lot of things have happened. It was not an easy road. It was a tough one. Really. As the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Reality check.

     Anyway, I heard that the result for UPU will be out by the first two weeks of July. I don't know what to expect. Lately I've been thinking a lot. Unnecessary thoughts. And I resent myself for actually having a thought that maybe I took the wrong call for my future. Shame on you Nia Ilemor, have you forgotten everything? But there's nothing I can do about it, I am actually glad that I didn't apply for it in the first place, at least I don't have to bother myself thinking about it. Anyway, I pray that Allah will strengthen my will for this course. I pray that whatever happen, I will stick to it. No matter what people say, I will still stick to it. I pray that Allah will give me the strength to. Ameen :)

-Play time is over Nia, buckle up, you still have a loooong journey.

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