Jun 12, 2011

PS, I Love You


     Reading this book gave me a lot of things to ponder about. Reading the tittle, people must have thought this is a very romantic story, auwwww, you love me and I love you and there's nothing in the world could ever come between us and bla bla bla but for me, there is much more than that. It is a romantic story but I didn't cry. Na'ah. But somehow, reading this book, gets to me. It gets to me how awful is the feeling of losing someone that you are in love with and the pain of surviving alone. And also the feeling of how hard it is seeing other people move on but you're still stuck with your memories, not that refusing to move on, but afraid that by doing so, you're leaving the precious memories behind.

     So the main character of this book, Holly is left alone after her beloved husband, Gerry died to a brain tumour. So you know, when people get paralysed by losing someone they love, they literally stopped living. Everything seemed, dull, lifeless and it seemed like Holly has lost her point of living when he's gone. But then, she discovered that he had written him letters beforehand from Feb till December, that is from the moment he's gone. There're 10 of them. Each labelled with each month and must be opened accordingly. It's like a list of what Holly must do each month and it gets me thinking that, if there's no such list, I don't think that poor lady would have survived the year just like she did in the book.

Buku skim pinjaman Kalom :P

     Anyway, this book is mainly about Holly dealing with all the pain, grief and all those awkward moments. It touches on some things that are real. Like, when someone's gone, how do you deal with it. I mean, when you bump into your old friends and suddenly they ask about him, how would you answer that "My husband's gone" without feeling awkward and answering the same questions all over again without feeling the pain of losing him washes over you, for the countless number of time every single time people ask you about it but at the same time, how would you put a hey-I-was-devastated-but-I-moved-on-and-don't-make-it-seems-wrong face. Because you know, people would expect you to have swollen eyes from crying all night and everything. And those "Are you okay" questions. And if you're the friend, how would you ask without making it sounds terrible?

     When people lose someone they love so much, most of them refuse to go to the places they often go for it will only bring back all those memories. And how irony is it, those happy memories now bring nothing but the pain of losing the people you have shared the memory with. And as time passes by, you get scared of losing that memory in your life. You're hanging with the remaining faded memories. You feel awful when you see yourself in the mirror but failing to remember the scrutinizing details of his face, you feel like you don't deserve to speak of him when you barely remember how his voice sounds like and you feel that you should be tormented with cold when you can't feel how warm his hug used to make you feel anymore.

Let's pretend that this was them :P

     It is already hard getting up everyday living with those, and people who claimed to be supportive actually are giving you hard times to move on. After months of dealing with the pain, someone would say, "You should go out, move on, meet someone new, go start a new life bla bla bla" and when you really do, they would picture you as a woman who easily find replacement to the husband she claimed to love the most. At this point of life, you should be able to recognize who's the friend and who's the foe. See, how complex people making moving on is to be? That is why I personally believe, it is never cool to judge for we don't know what they're dealing with. If moving on is wrong, then what is right to do? Is grieving over it for the rest of your life is? Or maybe put on a sad face with streaming tears every time we speak of him? Every single time? 

     And you know how people say that talking about your pain making it less, well in this book, it shows that the pain is just the same. Okay maybe it lessen, a little, but still, there's a large amount of pain to deal with. And as time passes by, you get tired of talking the same thing but never find the remedy. And you're afraid that talking about the same thing, will just bore your company, no matter how assuring they ensure you that it is okay. So how do people treat the wound really? Whatever you do is wrong. If you don't talk about it, act like everything is normal, laugh at jokes, living just fine, people would go saying, "Ohhh, heartless isn't she?" But then, if you keep talking about it and sigh at the pain of it, people would be like, "Come on, just move on already" Ah well, I guess we just have to keep a straight face.

     Is it wrong for her to move on? Live a happy life but yet, remember him in her own happy way. No tears, no drama, just happy moments to be smiled at. Might be better with a pray :)  Those days were happy memories. They may lasted for only a few good years but they're good memories and good memories live, within our heart. Though it ended pretty sad, it doesn't mean that she have to remember it with the tears of pain aite? So yeah, it is quite a good book. It stages up your perception and make you view things from a few good angles. Cecilia Ahern, good job! I am sooo gonna read the rest of yours! ;)


  1. I've watched the movie, starring Hillary Swank and..oh, I can't remember the guy's name but I haven't read this book yet. Couple of friends said that the book is better than the movie. I don't know. Couldn't judge them yet. I've read other Cecilia's works like "Where Rainbows End" and "The Gift". They're good. You should read them. :)

  2. I had read this book many years ago...the story was awesome...and yeah it was much more than typical love story for that was teaching us how to survive when something went wrong or not in the way that we wanted. :D

  3. Wana: Everyone said the movie was awesome, will watch it soon. And yeah, movies and books, usually I go for books ;) Not sure for this one, guess have to watch it first. I'm about to read The Gift and WTE, hope they are good :D

  4. Sir. Ash: Indeed it was. I got so much lessons of life, it gets me thinking literally about everything that I never even thought about. Ah, the wonders of books ;)


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