Khilaf

Assalamualaikum.

Stop! In the name of love, before you break my heart.

( This line just got stuck in my head, haha )

     Before I become I blogger, I always against the idea to write personal things on blog but then, when I become a blogger, well whaddaya know, I am that kinda person who write personal opinions on her blog. Haha. Karma.

     Anyway, dear friends, please agree with me. It is tough being a teenager aite? You sometimes seem to be having conflicts. And sometimes, without you exactly knowing why, you get those feelings that can take your day down. Being at the age of 18 ( yesss, still 18 ;P ) going to 19, I guess people just get those feelings. Oh no, don't go blaming your raging hormones, though yes, it is one of the reasons why. But still, Oscar Wilde once mentioned in one of his books, "A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent pleasure". What's the connection between that phrase and raging hormones? I don't know. I just think it's cool :P

     You might think that you're a motivated person, but that doesn't mean that you are an exception to feeling disappointed when things go wrong. And you might say that, "Hey, I am a strong person. I won't be taken down for love stories that can affect my study or make me look stupid" but still, it is not your fault to fall for someone and feeling sad when your love stories is not with a happy ending one. Or feeling miserable for having to endure all those emotions. Or maybe sometimes, in your family, you feel that you have been neglected. But then, you're blaming yourself for feeling that way because it kinda reflects that you're not being grateful. Ugh, I am rambling again don't I? =.="

     My point is, it is okay to sometimes to admit that, you have been taken over by your feelings. Come on, cut yourself some slack. Don't go feeling miserable for feeling miserable. Wait, is this sentence even right? Ahh, anyway, people get those feelings every now and then. So it is okay to sometimes feeling that way but, it is not okay to let them stay. I mean, with all those feelings, you could go mad. So what did you do? You go out with your friends, laugh as hard as you can at the lamest joke even and do all sorts of crazy stuff. Shop till your credit card reach the limit and eat all those cakes and ice creams? Really? And did all those miserable feelings go away? Do they?

     If it is a yes, then good for you. If it is a no, then, maybe there's something wrong somewhere. This reminds me of a book that up till now, I never succeeded reading it till the last page, "Eat Pray Love". (I think the book is boring but since it ends up kinda like a pressie, I have no choice but to read it, which I will, soon. Yes, soon :P )In the book, it seems that the author was missing something. It's like missing a soul. And she traveled in search for something. Something inexplicable. My sister even commented that she's crazy. Haha. See the world nowadays, people have everything but they still waking up feeling miserable everyday. And why is that? What is not to be happy? You got a good job, you have a big house, baby you got a car with a driver, you have wealth that maybe your seventh generation could still live with those money. Then, what it is not to be happy about?

     Maybe, maybe all those feelings are given for you to find yourself back. You've heard all those quotes about the journey of finding your soul. People have been trying to find their missing souls and try to at least once, feel genuinely happy. Maybe it is a sign that the inner part of you is left unattended. Maybe it is the time for us, to sit back and reflect. How was our relationship with our Creator? We have been so busy trying to maintain good grades and keep our social life cool, hanging out and everything, maybe along the way, we have left a relationship that must be given the most attention unattended. Maybe we kinda have abandoned our soul.

     Oh c'mon, I know that I am no good in writing this but I hope the message is delivered. Still, I am just a human being. A human who tends to forget when the world seems to take away my attention, I forgot and constantly needed to be reminded, because I'm a human. Pardon me, because I'm a human who tend to forget.

This reminds me of a song line: 

"Aku bukan Nabi yang bisa sempurna, ku tak luput dari dosa..."

May Allah have mercy on us :)