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As you can see, the A is Analysis and S is Synthesis (as I pointed out in my last post) That is how we form the A and S structures. Kinda.It wrote there, safe intro. The student missed one thing, which is to conclude/analyse the graph generally. He should wrote for example :
Generally... (and then make a general overview)
The mistake here is that, this student separate his analysis. If he put the comparison in a sentence, it would be synthesis. And also, he didn't point out his conclusion till the examiner took the last paragraph as content. To be on the safe side, just write, as a conclusion/to conclude etc. Write more synthesis for better marks. Compare the data in a sentence.
Generally, it is very hard to get band 6 for Question 1-Writing The Report. A band 6 essay would have to be one that have no mistakes at all. Flawless and perfect. Now that's Band 6 but it's not impossible ;) It turn out to be that many students didn't know that Question 1 is writing a report. It has always been like that. But I didn't know whether if the format would change. Question 2 is more like a usual essay.
16 hours to go >.< Good Luck!