I'm sorry. Seriously. I think I'm gonna apologize every single time I post a new post which is not the continuation of the last post which I promised the 'continue' part which is the 10 People (Part 1) and not the Sorry post which was posted because I am seriously feeling guilty T.T
Huh, though I'm typing but I feel like I'm running out of breath. Haha.
Anyway, I just read one of my senior's blog and yes, he was my senior way back in high school and still is now as TESLIAN (that is if Allah wills me to proceed to Degree, insyaAllah) and no it's not that I only admit it because he is kinda a famous blogger unlike me and hey, what exactly am I doing explaining every single thing. Okay, back on track. So the current post is about uhm, kinda the dilemma of a blogger who suddenly get famous and suddenly he was concerned on what to update on his blog and, and, and... Well you know what, if you go and read the post for a while, you'll get the idea. Haha.
Yo, wassup? :P
Okay, so I know, I know, I'm not a famous blogger. You don't have to remind me that. But the same issue that we (Me and him, ahem) might be dealing here is that, nowadays, I kinda get concerned on what I post on my blog. I mean, way back then, nobody reads my blog. Seriously no one. Only like some close friends. Okay not some, I guess there were only like 2 or 3 of them but still I don't mind, because I kinda write personal things and I know the one reading are the people who knew me well. Well, not so personal but kinda. Everyday stuff. Me at driving school. Me feeling this and that. And suddenly you got new awesome cool friends who read your blog. And the circle gets larger. And it was cool. I was cool with it because I know the people who read my blog. But as days passed by, well, call me a very 'perasan' girl who think there are actually people who read her blog without her knowing it but somehow, I get insecure of things that I post in my blog. I mean, I started thinking, hurm, is this post kinda personal? Is this okay? Will this be offending? And right now, as I'm typing this post, I'm still thinking, is this post sounds exaggerating? Will it make me sounds like 'overrrrr gilewwww minahhh niiii' or you know, stuff like that. Haha.
So the cycle begins again. I started thinking that maybe this post shouldn't be here and maybe not at all. This post reveals my emotion and I should be keeping them private, this post is this and this post is that. Bla, bla, bla... And come to think about it again, maybe I should have my blog private. Or maybe I should have another blog private and keeping this one just the way it is. Or maybe, I should just leave blogging world for crying out loud what is wrong with me hah? Hurm. One assumption. Maybe because, I have a blog for me. I mean, it's not really for reading. My blog is nothing. It's a diary of nobody. I write stuff that comes out of my head and I don't really write things like, news for today, fun facts, tutorials and awesome things like that. Mine is just mundane and boring I would say :/ So when I knew that they are other people who read it, I am afraid that they're gonna judge me for me, who someone who they do not know well just by reading her blog.
I just think this is cute, and yes, conveys the right message. Tak, tak, tak emo :P
And I think about it again. Why in the world would I feel insecure? People read my blog. Duhh. It's not a big deal. It's not a 1k readers. I should appreciate those who read it and I am. I really am. Seriously. So now, I'm just gonna blog. Bear with me. Yes? Thank you. No? Well, see you later. Or maybe see you never. Okay just kidding :P Anyway, for those who have been with me since my first official blog would have known that this is my second blog. Or maybe if you read my very first entry here you would have known too. Anyhow, the point here is you know, as I browse through my old blog just now, I feel amused. I am amused by the way I used to blog and yes, it did change kinda a lot. Haha. I think it's funny. I started to think, woah, was that me? Haha. Alah, people change, that's normal. Besides, the only constant thing in life is change. Aite? And I think I'm gonna reblog all those posts here. I want them to stay in a blog. My blog.
I still think this is funny and I just don't know why. Haha. And no, no multiple personality thingy okay. Haha. And I still don't understand why would 'you' say that :/ Anyway people, I know this post sounds like a total mess. Like I said, bear with me :P I'm having a nervous breakdown. And from now and onwards, I would be reblogging. Sometimes. Might as well get a label for it. Teehee. Okay tata. Allah bless you people!
-Well, maybe a private blog will do? :)